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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27007720">P.S. I Miss You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/costumejail/pseuds/costumejail'>costumejail</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys - My Chemical Romance (Album), The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys (Comic)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, Letters, Memorials, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Vamos (Fabulous Killjoys), Nonbinary Vaya (Fabulous Killjoys), POV First Person, Past Character Death, Post-Canon, Zones Religion and Lore (Fabulous Killjoys)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 01:34:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,195</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27007720</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/costumejail/pseuds/costumejail</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>What do you put in a mailbox when you can't put anything else? Is someone's soul in their mask or is it in everyone they've left behind?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Val Velocity &amp; Vamos &amp; Vaya &amp; Vinyl &amp; Volume (Fabulous Killjoys), Val Velocity/Vinyl (Fabulous Killjoys), Vaya/Volume (Fabulous Killjoys)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>76</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Vol,</p>
<p><strike>I don’t want to do this I think this is stupid</strike> Vamos has got me at gunpoint to write this, you know how they can be a bitch about things. But they’re not reading over my shoulder so I could just say whatever I want. <strike>It’s not like you’re around to read it</strike>. Sorry. That was probably rude.</p>
<p>Vinyl’s been telling me I’m rude a lot. Most of the time he’s right.</p>
<p>I really don’t see the point of it, though. If you’re gonna read this <strike>and you aren’t </strike>then you already know everything I’m gonna tell you because you saw it. Or whatever. Someone saw it and you found out through them. I don’t know how Vamos thinks it works.</p>
<p>I guess… Long story short, we won. City’s gone, BL/ind’s dead, <strike> so are you. So is the DJ.</strike> That was kinda shitty of me. I knew it was the moment I did it but I wasn’t really in control. I swear I thought it was for the best. He knew so much how could anyone trust him how could I be in the wrong <strike> why did everyone get mad at </strike></p>
<p>I know why they were mad at me. </p>
<p>That’s not what this is about. I don’t know what this is about. Vamos told me to write to you. They didn’t say what to write.</p>
<p>
  <strike> I miss you. </strike>
</p>
<p>That’s… fuck. Vamos has a word for it. That’s manipulative of me. Isn’t it? Not your fault. Not like bitching about it’s gonna bring you back, anyway. But it’s true. I <strike>rpoa porba probl</strike> I think about you every day. Everything’s so different now. I don’t even feel like the same person. I don’t know if you’d like this me. I don’t know if you liked that me.</p>
<p>You liked high noon. Whenever the sun was highest in the sky. You really did live up to your name. <span class="u"> Volume</span><span class="u">.</span> Shouting from the rooftops and laughing and cheering and screaming at each other when we fought. </p>
<p>We probably fought a bit too much.</p>
<p>Sorry. Too late now.</p>
<p>But yeah. I think about you when the sun’s sitting up there in the sky. I can kinda see why you thought it was beautiful. Fuck the sun though, shit. I’ve been getting so many fucking sunburns since… That was the first thing I did I think. Got the big crop you’d been talking about. No more long hair. Its fading out now but fuck, I felt like such a prick walking around with that red after everything. Surprised the Girl didn’t shave me herself the way she glared at me whenever I was around after I dyed it.</p>
<p>Wonder where she is now, let me know if you find out, yeah? </p>
<p>I’m almost out of paper. Guess I did know what to write after all. Not that I said much. You’re used to that. <strike> Or you were. </strike>Maybe you still are. I don’t know how Vamos thinks it works.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hey Volume!!!</p>
<p>Short one today, were packing up to go south again. Val finally had enough of the trees and hes been complaining that its been a full moon since hes seen a cactus. You know how he is. I think he liked it though! Hes been doing a lot better since… Everything. Its funny though, hes still not used to the short hair and the number of times he tries to push it behind his ear when hes thinking is fucking hilarious. I told him he should grow it out again but he really didnt like that much. Stomped off and didnt talk to me the rest of the day.</p>
<p>Hes doing that less now, though! Does more of the talking-about-his-emotions thing. Took him long enough.</p>
<p>Oh!!! Him and Vinyl finally told me theyre together. Not like I didn’t already know because… I live in a truck with them. Trust me, <span class="u"> I knew</span>. But I wasnt gonna say anything and last nite they sat me down and told me, Val did most of the talking because of course he did but Vinyl was grinning like Id never seen him before. Good for them! I think its really nice that they feel safe enough to get attached again. We knew they were close before you <strike>died </strike>but then I think that really shattered the mood and now its back. Not that it was your fault!! I thought youd like to know, though. If you havent seen them already. I hope you havent<span class="u"> seen</span> them. Gross.</p>
<p>Im about ready to head south again too. This was good, getting past the spike belt felt weird, but it was really just getting away from everything that mattered and we did that and its… Well. Its not perfect but I feel better. More like I know what I wanna do with myself now that I dont have the whole… BL/ind thing to worry about.</p>
<p>And I miss Vaya, of course. Xes been calling every now and then but the service past the belt is kinda rusty. Xe said something about radio and… feathers (??) last time we talked. Like I said, service was rusty. Witch, I cant wait to see xyr face.</p>
<p>Hey, did you get a hold of the Girl yet? Send me a sign if you did, I feel bad about how we left things and I hope she got out alrite. It was so damn hectic when she blew up and then we didnt see her before we left. I dont think Val really wants to see her but thats too bad! I do!</p>
<p>I hope you like the bracelet I made you. Ill put it in the mailbox with the letter. We went to the ocean and there were all these little white things. Vinyl told me they were called shells? Well, he really seemed to like them so I put a few on a bracelet for him and then Val looked like he kinda wanted some so I made him a necklace and then I thought itd be nice for all of us to have something together. I even made a charm for the Girl, but I guess Ill put it in a box if you havent seen her by the next full moon. Please see her by the next full moon.</p>
<p>Shit, this got long. Vinyls tossing sticks at me and Vals getting all eyebrow-scrunchy so Im probably holding us up. He tries to do that now instead of swearing and its a little cute. Vinyl definitely thinks so</p>
<p>Okay! Ill write soon, hope youre doing okay!! Love you! Miss you.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Volume</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Val finally caved and wrote one of these. He made me promise to write one too. I’ve been meaning to for a while. I know Vamos has a stack of their own from the trip. You’ll have a lot to read up on. Not that you’ve got a lot else to do wherever you are. I think that’s how it works.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I miss you. We all do. Nothing we can do about it. But it feels good to say. Val wouldn’t even let us talk about you for the longest time. First time I heard your name after you died I cried. Sometimes I lie up just writing it out over and over. Volume <span class="big">Volume.</span> <span class="big"><span class="big">Volume.</span></span> <span class="big"><span class="big"><span class="big">Volume.</span></span></span> Just that. Over and over. I guess you miss us too. Sorry. We’ve at least got each other and you’ve got… Whatever you’ve got over there. I hope you aren’t lonely.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I should have done this earlier. We should have done something. I lost your bandana. I had it. Well the Girl had it. She gave it to me. Sometime between you dying and now it just vanished. Vamos says these will do the job for your bandana. Let you move on. I hope they’re right. You deserve a bit of rest at last.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I’m glad you weren’t there. To see what we did. It was bad. We always joked about you being the glue that held us together. Didn’t think about how true that was until you were gone. It’s all done and over now. We can’t go undoing what we did. But we all kind of wish we could. I do at least. Val does. Vamos is a little too happy about everything. But I think they’re putting on a face. I don’t know what Vaya’s doing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>We left xem behind. Maybe xe didn’t want to come with us. Xyr not here is the point. Vamos doesn’t say much about xem but I know they can’t wait to see xem again. Neither can I. Neither can Val honestly. We don’t do separation well. Any of us. I’m sure Vamos told you about Val and me. That’s nice. Harder to be away from him now though. But even being away from Vaya for a moon and a half. It’s hard. Too easy to imagine xyr gone like you are. It doesn’t feel good. We’re going south again now. We’ll see xem again soon. We won’t be seeing you soon. That’s been not as nice to think about.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Val’s calling me. For all the bad that happened... it’s nice. He smiles sometimes now. He shouts less. And when he does we can get him to say why. It’s hard. But he’s trying. His smile though. I’d do this all over again for that smile. Sorry. I know you dying is a part of that. But I know you were tired of us. Do you think you would have stayed? It’s kind of the same. You leaving or you dying. The only difference now is I can write and it feels like you’ll read it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Still... Sorry.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’s really calling now. It’s sunset. I think he wants me to watch it with him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I’ll write again. Promise.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strike> Fuck. I dont want to do this. </strike>
</p>
<p>Hey,</p>
<p>Sorry. I know it’s been to long. I can’t even make an excuse, if you can read this you can see that I definitely had time to write. If you can’t read this then theyres no point in making an excuse.</p>
<p>I have been busy, though. You know I have. No one told me that running a station was so much work. I expected the fixing up shit to get the station running again but the getting the news and the verifying the news and the making it fit in a broadcast and the saying the broadcast and the taking calls after the broadcast? fuck. Its exhausting. And everyone comes to me for everything now! What the fuck? It’s like, how the fuck should I know who’s playing in Zone 2 at the waxing quarter? (It was Vacation Adventure Society, I actually did know that one)</p>
<p>Not to mention how many fucking fites I have to break up at the Nest. Can someone tell these kids that the war’s over? No one else wants to take one season before we’re back at each others throats? Fuck i sound old. “These kids.” Their probably all older than me.</p>
<p>Whatever. Soon their wont be anyone older than me. Thats what the Witch said. I guess she would have told you. She said she would. Its fucked up. I didn’t mean to replace the DJ, but someone has to I guess. I don’t know how to feel. We aren’t telling Val. He’d be weird about it.</p>
<p>They got back yesterday. Maybe the day before? I’ve been busy. They all look good though. Val’s talking to me again and Vinyl has a million little bruises on his neck (you know) and Vamos got <span class="u">tan</span>. I’m so pale next to them now, all the time I’ve been spending inside while they gallavinted up and down the Zones. I’m not mad though, could never be mad. They needed it. They still laugh a little to wild sometimes but not always.</p>
<p>I’m not complaining, I know most of this is me complaining but really, I‘ve almost never been happier. Wish you were here to see it. Everything else that happened? You’d’ve hated it but now that its all settled? Yeah. I think you’d have liked it. Guess we won’t know for sure.</p>
<p>But I think you’d like it.</p>
<p>I don’t even know why I’m writing. I could just get the Witch to tell you next time I see her. Vamos told me they’d been doing this though, said they even got Val and Vi in on it so... Why not, rite? Feels a little more personal now. You’ll have a part of me. </p>
<p>You’ve always had my heart, not that you knew. But you can’t hold that in your hands, can you? </p>
<p>Fuck. I promised myself I wouldn’t cry and I’m not going to. If the papers a little waterstained it was a freak rainstorm, okay? That’s what we‘ll tell them.</p>
<p>I’ll try to write again. If you want to bully the Witch into running a message back to me, I think I’d like that. <strike> She could use a little bullying every now and then</strike><strike>.</strike> Don’t tell her I said that.</p>
<p>Okay. Im out of paper. I’ll write again. I miss you. I love you. I’m sorry it took this long.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading! Wanted to try something new with this, exploring my postcomics Ultra V's stuff without actually writing the big multichap roadtrip fic that it would be otherwise. Hope you enjoyed! Leave a comment or come chat with me on <a href="sleevesareforlosers.tumblr.com">tumblr!</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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